An open letter to the editors of Wordpress: are you insanely foolish or closeted spandex lovers. Which is it dudes?

(actual photo of WordPress editor in locker room before mens jazzersize class yesterday afternoon)

How are you going WordPress editors?

God it’s been TOO long since we hung out.

Yesterday when I saw you was great. I really liked your outfit too. You look great in shoes. Have you lost weight?

Thanks for putting my spandex mens aerobics story on the WordPress homepage yesterday. Hey, how cool are homepages? I like them. Just another thing that you and I have in common.

I have lots of new friends thanks to you. And they’re all spandex lovers like me.

So, in the fatuous belief that a little spandex hocus-pocus in this blog will so dazzle readers that they’ll be too dazed to notice the quality of the writing – and the realisation that my calling in life may be limited to finding stories on spandex – here’s all that ’s hot, and not, in the spandex Universe today.

Katy Perry is Sporty in Spandex

Fat People in Spandex!

But now is the time to bite the hand that feeds.

If I am required to while away the rest of my life writing about spandex, and the fruitcakes who fetishize about it. I want something in return.

You go to www.cword.tv and watch the video podcasts – and I’ll write about spandex for the next 70 years, or til I die – whichever comes last (my commitment knows no earthly bounds).

This podcast is really good, and I have every reason to believe that the kids find it pretty hip. Once, I saw a guy watching it just after he’d finished listening to rap music through his cassette headphones. He had his hat on back to front as well.

So………… it sounds like a fair deal to me.

You watch the cword podcast.

I write about spandex.

And I get to feel like I’ve been punched in the face everyday. TWICE.

(Seriously, being Chinese burned to death would be more fun than writing about spandex)

Anyways, thanks again for this, I look forward to catching up soon. I don’t think I’ll have the salad next time. It was a bit underwhelming.

Yours, while wondering why my life has come to this, and what I did to deserve it, and how can I deal with being the Perez Hilton of spandex

Righteous

p.s. being on the WordPress homepage is not very manly. You have possibly not considered this before, but such things are the purpose of my blog. It’s what I call a ‘transfer of knowledge’.  Being on your homepage is like wearing dangly ear-rings – just too obvious. Now I have to care what people think about what I write, and believe me, we both know I’m too busy to do that.

p.p.s. ok, one more spandex item, you can never get too much of a good thing

Cute college girl tight lycra spandex

[Via http://schimmelusch.wordpress.com]